Exposing your finances to another person is a scary thing. When you’re in a committed relationship and you start to share income and expenses, it’s usually quite an adjustment. If you’ve found that money has become your main topic of conversation, you’re not alone. Today I’m going to explain 5 proven tips to finally stop fighting about money.
5 Tips to Finally Stop Fighting about Money
If you’re new to my blog, it might surprise you to know that I used to be terrible with money. Then I met my husband, who was basically the opposite. You can read more about this in my post A Spender and A Saver Fall in Love. As you might imagine, there were many disagreements as I was learning to be better with money and we were both learning to share our finances. Over the years we’ve learned to calm the conversation. I’m excited to share these 5 tips to finally stop fighting about money.
Have a team mindset
This is really challenging when you’ve been on your own for a while. When you’re combining households and finances, it’s important to start thinking as a team. When all of the incomes are going into the same pot, and all of the expenses are coming from that pot, you’re working together towards the same goal. Go team!
Because you are a team, when one of you succeeds, you both succeed. Of course, success is easy. In times of failure, or even small missteps, it may be hard to keep from pointing the finger.
However, nothing good ever comes from blaming your partner. Instead, offer help. Empower each other to make better decisions. Work to boost each other up. You’ll get a lot further in the long run.
Think before you talk
Instead of rushing into a heated conversation when you’re feeling upset, take some time to calm down and think about what you really want to say. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has said things I didn’t mean because I said what I was feeling without taking any time to think about it.
If you have a clear idea of what you want to say before you open the conversation, you’ll skip the fight and be more likely to accomplish something.
All important financial decisions should be decided together. As should spending and savings goals and anything else that affects your group finances. Listen to each others thoughts and opinions. Then, make a decide on what is best for your team together, with both voices being heard.
Stick to a plan
After you’ve had the conversations and made the big decisions, stick to your plan. Do your part to help your team achieve your goals. If you do veer off track, as we all will at some point or other, be honest with your teammate and tell them what happened and why. Then get back on track as soon as you can.
What works for you in avoiding the money fight? Let us know in the comments below.